Luna vs the Forces of Evil
by Flagg1991
Summary: Luna Loud has finally found a place where she can be accepted...until three fat, ugly SJW bigots threaten to ruin her sense of belonging. Oneshot. Requested by ValeOfDeviant


Luna tumbled off the 905 at the corner of West and Thurgood and sucked a deep breath of fresh, flowery spring air. Ahead, beyond the sidewalk, a large group of people thronged the open expanse of Miller Park, tents, tables, and awnings set up one either side of a wide, grassy thorofare, a dozen rainbow flags fluttering in the warm breeze. A banner reading 1ST ANNUAL ROYAL WOODS GAY DAYS was stretched between two trees, reminiscent of an enchanted portal.

Sam, her girlfriend, and their friend Chase, a thin, lanky boy with his brown hair in a crisp buzz cut and his slender frame clad in red skinny jeans and a jean jacket over a black and white striped shirt, flanked her on either side. Like Luna, they were both bi, which marked them as outcasts in Royal Woods, a small town in the heartland still coming to grips with the fact that gay people even exist. They had friends, sure, and Luna's family was chill with her orientation, but she couldn't help feeling as though they were not fully accepted for who they were - if they sat down at a table in the school cafeteria, the other kids would scoot as far away as they could or leave entirely, and when she and Sam held hands in public, they got dirty looks from the young and old alike. It really bummed Luna out that people were like that, but she wasn't gonna dwell on it, especially not today. Like the sign said, man, today was about love, tolerance, and understanding; when she first found out about Gay Days, she was stoked because, to her, it was a symbol of progress and hope...hope that the people of Royal Woods would loosen up and just let her be her.

That would realistically take time, though; for now, she was just excited to be surrounded by people who understood her feelings and her struggle. Most might not get what goes into feeling like trash over something they can't control, or the existential pain of being fundamentally different, or the anxiety of being shamed, called names, or even beaten up when their sexuality comes to light, or the deep, stomach churning fear of coming out to their family and friends - loved ones whose reactions emotionally make or break you - but the peeps here today did. They ran the gamut from young to old, black to white, atheist to Christian - a tapestry of colors, ethnicities, and backgrounds stitched together by their shared experience and sexual orientation.

She grinned giddily and glanced at Chase, then Sam. "You guys ready?" she asked, her voice lifting with effusive enthusiasm.

"Totally," Sam said.

"Never been readier," Chase added.

As the bus pulled away from the curb in a cloud of exhaust, they made their way into the park, the smells of cooking hamburgers and hotdogs and the chattering din of a thousand voices washing over them. Luna threaded her fingers through Sam and looked around, her face glowing radiantly as she spotted drag queens conferring in a group, drag kings smoking cigars and laughing heartily at a joke, people in pride shirts, leather pants and vests, hiking boots and flannel - Luna felt a deep kinship with all of them, and the realization that many of them probably only got to be themselves at the occasional event such as this made her both sad and glad, sad that the world could be so unaccepting, and glad that they could find respite here if nowhere else.

Chase pulled a crinkled pamphlet from the pocket of his coat, opened it, and held it up in front of his face, his pace slowing. Luna and Sam reduced speed to match his step. "What do you wanna do first?" he asked. "There's a drag show, face panting, ring toss...oooh, beer booth. You guys got your fake IDs?"

"Right here," Luna said and patted her hip pocket. She looked at Sam. "What do you wanna do, babe?"

Sam scrunched her lips cutely to one side in a way that never failed to make Luna want to kiss her and hummed indecisively. "I dunno. That food smells really good, though."

"Yeah, I'm kinda hungry too," Chase said. He folded the pathlet and slipped it back into his pocket. "I could go for a footlong...then for something to eat."

Luna fondly rolled her eyes. While a switch hitter who made love just as passionately to a woman as he did a man (Luna knew this first hand, wink), Chase preferred men...or at least their dicks. He talked about them endlessly - how good they smelled and tasted, how warm and soft (yet frm) they felt in his hand, how the feeling of hot, salty jizz shooting against the back of his throat brought him to the edge...you could say he was... _addicted_ (hahaha, I can make puns too, Luan). She fully expected him disappear at some point and suck guy off in one of the porta-potties.

"Alright," she said, "food it is." She looked around and spotted a guy standing at a grill in the distance, one hand on his hip and wearing a white apron with KISS ME I'M FABULOUS across the chest. They started in that direction, but came to a crashing halt when three girls popped up in front of them from seemingly nowhere, all short, fat, and clad in matching black T-shirts with SJW on the front in white writing and black framed hipster glasses. The one on the right wore bright red lipstick and the one on the left had a pink bowl cut. The center one (whom Luna took to be the leader) had short blue hair, a nose ring, pimples, two chins, and a hairy mole on the corner of her upper lip.

"Greetings, sisters" the leader said, then flicked her eyes distastefully to Chase, as though he were a regrettable presence, "male ally."

"Hey," Luna said affably, "cool party, huh?"

The leader clucked her tongue. "Indeed. Anyway, we're looking for lesbian womyn (spelled with a Y in direct defiance of the patracry) to join our feminist group. Leaders Of Social Evolutionary and Revolutionary Science. We fight for acceptance of lesbians in society and actively work with larger groups to bring about a womyn-lead world where men will take secondary, subservient roles, such as raising children, keeping house, and speaking only when spoken to."

Luan and Sam exchanged an uneasy glance. "Uh, sorry, no," Sam said.

"Yeah," Luna added, "plus, we're not technically lesbians, we're bi -"

The three SJWs drew back with a hiss like vampires confronted with a cross. "So you're one of _those,_ " the leader spat.

Luna blinked. "One of what?"

"An undecided woman - spelled with an A because she subconsciously clings to the patriarchy and to penises - and not one of us at all. You shouldn't even be here. We don't want or accept you, cis scum bitch."

Luna recoiled, a familiar twinge in her heart...the feeling of being rejected for who she was. "Are you serious right now?" she blurted.

"Dead serious," the leader said. "You're a confused straight woman going through a rebellious phase - getting back at Daddy, no doubt, while lusting for his disgusting _thing_ \- and you being here distracts from _real_ LGBTTQQIAAP people."

Luna's head spun and hot, throbbing anger clutched her chest like a fiery fist. "I'm _on_ that list. B. For bisexual."

The leader ignored her. "I and my sisters suffer discrimination every single day of our lives while people like _you_ play dress up and pretend to know what it's like to be an outsider in society, then go back to your normal lives when the parade is over."

"Hey," Chase started, his brow angled down in an outraged V, "we get shit too."

Luna could barely hear him - her fury was rapidly spreading like a fire through a building made of dry straw, first to her stomach, then to her brain, then, finally, to her hands, which balled into shaking fists. All the taunts, derisive stares, contemptuous sneers, and ostracism she endured...all the suffering...the gnawing dread she felt for _weeks_ as she pumped herself up to come out to her family, all the heartbreak of people she knew, people she counted as _friends,_ leaving her when she revealed herself to them...all came rushing back to her in a black, choking tide.

"...make believe," the leader was saying. "You're a bunch of…"

Before Luna could stop herself, she threw a wicked right punch that connected with the leader's jaw; her head whipped to one side and she dropped like the fat sack of self-righteous liberal shit she was. Her cronies gasped in horror...then turned tail and rain, cries of "Safe space!" and "macro-aggression!" trailing behind like clouds of stink. On the ground, the leader moaned and stirred.

Taking a half step forward, one purple boot indignantly stomping the ground, Luna jammed her finger at the fallen SJW. "Listen, bitch, I've gone through more than you'll know. I laid awake at night for _months_ terrified my Mom and Dad would hate me for being bi. Girls I fucking _loved_ like sisters deserted me when I told them because _ew, Luna's gonna go full gay on us_. When I hold my girlfriend's hand or kiss her in public, people look at me like I'm the biggest piece of shit in the world. I used to cry myself to sleep and hate being me because I was attracted to other girls more than I was to boys. I come here to forget all of that and hang with people who understand me, and your big, fat dogmatic ass wants to play keeper of the gate. You don't get to decide who is or isn't anything, you fucking bigot. You're just as bad as the people you claim to be fighting against. People like you perpetuate a cycle of hate and ignorance by spinning the wheel just like the homophobes instead of having the courage, conviction, intelligence, and _decency_ to grab it and fucking _stop_ it. You're not not making anything better, you're making it worse"

On her hands and knees now, the leader quaked in holy terror, her eyes wide and frenzied like a wounded animal before a ravenous predator.

"Get the fuck out of here before I kick your teeth down your throat." Luna jerked, and, with a scream, the leader struggled to her feet and ran, her fat jiggling.

Luna took a deep, shuddery breath...then realized she, Chase, and Sam were surrounded by a teeming sea of people. For one horrible second, she thought they were going to attack her for punching a _real_ gay woman...then they erupted into raucous cheers, clapping, and whistles.

"You go, girl!" a man in drag called.

"Way to handle that fat cunt!" a woman in a suit yelled.

Beaming happiness filled Luna's chest, and she took Sam's hand in one of hers, then Chase's in the other. Basking in the love and warmth of her people, Luna, for perhaps the first time outside of her family, felt completely and unreservedly accepted.

THE END.


End file.
